Monday, April 23, 2007

*it all depends on You (and a lot of photos)*

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oh well. i am tired tonight. Yes, it was a busy day. Busy, busy, busy. Not that i should have done that much, but things don't just do themselves. And the way i see it, it's one medical condition or another. Meaning that if i don't clean up my sinus may return and that is something i DON'T want.
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Master has left. He will be in Chile till friday. (sighs...) There is only one place on earth that feels perfect, and i swear that place is in His arms. No matter what, when i am snug and warm on His shoulder everything is just fine.
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one year, next week. i wonder what to do to celebrate. He is delaying getting me branded, for some reason. Is He unsure? i would like it very much, and that He doesn't adress the matter directly kind of makes me wonder if i am doing something wrong, if He is unhappy with me.
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well... i like this photo.

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i still have the music matter to adress. i have about 8 options for the 3 moments of the performance till now, but there are two more hours of music to select from, before making a definite selection. Yes, i'm a control-freak. Then there will be the choreography and costume to adress. And i wanna make some pasties, maybe a garter. Well, i wil have plenty of time alone. Which sucks.
This Friday:
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i think i will perform next tuesday as well. And the following thursday. That should make up for the time i stayed at home. Damn, i love the stage! And the stage loves me, you know...
my favorite...a 1920's vibe... by Andrea Lavezzaro, from a rejected SG set (edited to add my own logo, because these photos belong to me and the photographer).
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Another thing that kept me busy today was clearing memory. i couldn't figure out why this computer was so slow. Probably something to do with the fact i have/had about 20Gb of movies in one of my folders, just siting there. So it's been burn, baby, burn!, all fucking day long. Yeah, i'm lame.
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i may be a procrastinator. But on the other hand, once i start something i hardly ever stop, even for eating. As a result of which i had my first meal at 6 pm today. Yeah, i know. Real smart of me.
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As for my to-do list...
- tidy up, sweep and dust. Do dishes - ok
- do laundry - ok
- iron clean laundry - ok
- shave, do eyebrows and nails - ok
- update online - ok (duh!)
...
Still on that list are things l1ike "correct student's assignments", "study" and "make acessories". i really don't feel like doing those, so i'll try to cross "sort out tracks for performance".
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blah! or maybe i'll just watch something. It's scary to stay home alone.
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At least my nails are done. kind of. i am a terrible manicure. argh!
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Something tells me that getting back to the "real" world will be tough. i usually have such a crazy rythm, i will have to take it slow at first. i hate taking things slow.
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As long as He is with me... Kind of worries me that He will be out for some days. But i will manage. i always do. i just freak out everytime before i see it will all be ok.
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Yeah! And now for something completely similar.
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"i can be happy, i can be sad
i can be good, i can be bad
it all depends on You
i can be lonely out in a crowd
i can be humble, i can be proud
it all depends on You
i can save money, or spend it
go right on living, or end it
You're to blame, baby, for what i do
i know that i can be beggar, i can be king
i can be almost any old thing
it all depends on You
isn't it sweet to know, Dear, You can help me on?
wouldn't it hurt, to know, Dear, all my hopes were gone?
wouldn't it make You proud, Dear, if i made a name?
but if i failed to win, dear, would You want all the blame?"

(Ruth Etting)
...
for all it's worth, our contract: http://www.slaveregister.com/p/sweetie_bird_RML/


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Tomorrow is a full day, as well? i should rest. my legs finally start to hurt.
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i'm starting to look foward to the e-mails from Torahtoday. It may be religion, but i kind of like it.
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i really like that SG gives the hopefuls a second change. Although at sometimes it does seem like some awkward consolation prize popularity pageant. And i really feel uncomfortable with competing. Probably because i always lose. Anyways, my competing and rejected set:
http://suicidegirls.com/albums/hopefuls/group/13510/
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WARNING: my legs are healing well, but if you don't feel comfortable with bruises and such, just don't look at the following photos. These were taken today.
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zzzzzz's. it's been a long long long day.
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listening: King Oliver's Jazz Band - 1923 to 1926 recordings
wearing: granny's pink nightgown, no undies, and compression socks.
eating: chocolate, chocolate, chocolate!
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