tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28604209334442760092024-03-19T00:17:51.714-03:00sweetie's sweet sweet wonderland(looking for extraordinary sweetness in ordinary places)Sweetie B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00908781699436901684noreply@blogger.comBlogger320125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2860420933444276009.post-35069459241406726042015-09-15T13:10:00.003-03:002015-09-15T13:23:14.270-03:00Not today, Satan.Whoever is sending me bad vibes, well... it worked. Looks like I have a really nasty cold sore, which would explain the three day high fever and all.
Taking the proper medication, my Chinese teas and working from my desk (which counts as rest in my world). And I'm getting more than enough sleep.
I'll be fine by tomorrow. I have to be.
Oy.Sweetie B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00908781699436901684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2860420933444276009.post-82869861686759065292015-09-07T01:11:00.000-03:002015-09-07T01:11:21.145-03:00AnxiousIt's too calm. Things are too easy. Life is good to me and I have more than enough. It's terrifying.
I should be asleep but I'm not even sleepy. Just disturbed. And lonely. I've been feeling terribly lonely these days.
3 weeks to go. 22 days. More coffee. More tea. More sticking to my to-do lists and getting things done instead of succumbing to this dreary insecurity.
Go to bed already.Sweetie B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00908781699436901684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2860420933444276009.post-29300398397162283612015-09-05T23:22:00.003-03:002015-09-05T23:22:41.740-03:00#lifegoalsWoke up too early today, did my makeup, went to a casting call for Beauty Fair. A casting call. What bummed me (although I was deep down hoping to have the weekend to myself to clean and sew) was not not being picked, I respect the stylists needs for tall and thin 15 year old models, or the 5 hour wait till I was told I could go home, but the fact I could be with my Bear this weekend being loved Sweetie B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00908781699436901684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2860420933444276009.post-83649651080217559472015-08-28T20:19:00.001-03:002015-08-28T20:23:59.984-03:00Pensive...I've been wanting to write again, for a while now. I suck at talking to people and as I get older it seems my anxieties and fears only get worse. While I still have friends, I find myself having a hard time trusting most everyone, myself included, and from time to time I'll shut myself off completely with the exception of my art.
As I was lying here giving myself the indulgence of a couple days Sweetie B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00908781699436901684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2860420933444276009.post-327421541994450922014-02-28T12:07:00.000-03:002014-02-28T12:07:23.025-03:00It makes me that much stronger, makes me that much wiserwords to live by, from Xtina's "Fighter".
Today is the last day of February. I'd be thankful if someone pulled the plug on the drama for the year. May March bring on better omens and more peace of mind.
Because it will be a hell of an eventful month. Ain't nobody got time for drama, girl. I need to get my visa to the US so the world can be my egg.
Sweetie B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00908781699436901684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2860420933444276009.post-33637910471817432122014-02-16T11:10:00.000-03:002014-02-28T22:50:29.817-03:00Some people are despicablespecially those who force themselves into a friendship with you only to stab you in the back the first time you don't amen whatever they say. God is watching bitch. I'm watching.
Sweetie B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00908781699436901684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2860420933444276009.post-40544244065519389202014-01-01T22:25:00.000-02:002014-01-01T22:25:09.462-02:002013 was a very interesting year...I mean, after I left my comfort zone, made the most of my curiosities, and started cashing in on my natural talents.
Let's see how 2014 plays out.Sweetie B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00908781699436901684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2860420933444276009.post-79659652634411414622014-01-01T22:09:00.000-02:002014-01-01T22:09:13.354-02:00to polish off that bottle of rum or to let it be...now THAT is a question...Sweetie B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00908781699436901684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2860420933444276009.post-7842332742923827702013-04-11T15:44:00.001-03:002013-04-11T15:44:55.800-03:00hey lady luck, over here!yo, bitch, I've been working my ass off. How about you give me some TLC? Lord know's I need it.
Because having my phone taken wasn't enough. Not getting any paid gigs for the past three weeks and investing what money I had left in my work either. No, now I have to find out that I owe some unexpected cash when I'm almost running out of food. Cash? What's that?
I didn't even make rent this month.Sweetie B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00908781699436901684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2860420933444276009.post-19027432777183253632013-04-09T11:16:00.001-03:002013-04-09T11:16:13.942-03:00I'm done waiting... and too confused to bugged with things like these... or am I?
When all you have to your name is 1 buck and almost all your bills are late and unpaid, what to do? Something. Anything.
And stop waiting. Time to start Hwaitting (fighting) instead!
No, I have not been a lazy ass. I've been working my ass off, but it's all from a long term perspective towards my burlesque group. Money's beingSweetie B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00908781699436901684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2860420933444276009.post-40468415631845368432013-02-11T16:14:00.000-02:002013-02-11T16:24:59.378-02:00Who's carnaval?It's a holiday in Brazil. Who's holiday? Freelancers don't get holidays, no, not the broke ones. My ex, Tanuki, saved my sorry ass with a loan to pay to rent (and it took me days to swallow my pride and ask for said loan). I hear the birds outside singing away and think... yeah, birds never get a day off.
Oh, hi PMS. I need to cuddle up to someone/something and a ton of coffee. And a good book. Sweetie B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00908781699436901684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2860420933444276009.post-52488317222596646962013-01-28T11:22:00.001-02:002013-01-28T11:22:39.337-02:00Biting my teeth so I don't scream.Maybe it's my upcoming birthday.
Maybe it's the fact I have less than 10 bucks in my wallet for the week. (Not counting the money I put aside for the kpop show in the end of February - my only birthday gift to myself).
Maybe that I haven't been making much money at all. Even if I am working on things I love.
Maybe it's the fact I'm drowning in debt right now.
I'm pushing down the need to screamSweetie B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00908781699436901684noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2860420933444276009.post-61865123501917407112013-01-23T00:00:00.001-02:002013-01-28T11:25:47.288-02:00...when you meet a new old pair of eyes that makes you want to wear a collar again. Even if he really isn't into bdsm.
I may just learn Japanese now and run away to Japan. How does that sound?
It was a weekend full of work and a Monday and Tuesday off with lots of cuddling. It had been a while since I had allowed myself the chance to go on a real date, with coffee, a movie and dinner. And it Sweetie B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00908781699436901684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2860420933444276009.post-20149683800380608572013-01-15T07:46:00.000-02:002013-01-15T07:46:31.583-02:00guess who's back, back again... Good morning my old friend Libido. Long time, no see.
Now tell me, just what do I do with you?
I had the weirdest sexy dreams... well, considering I haven't felt much below the belt for the past couple months, that should be ok.
Let's use that on stage, shall we?Sweetie B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00908781699436901684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2860420933444276009.post-41123448714408622622012-12-28T11:11:00.001-02:002012-12-28T11:11:16.800-02:00Hi old friendHi there dysthymia... or is just loneliness? Or does it even have to do with the freaky xmas eve episode where I passed out while we were taking care of my foot with acupuncture and went to my dark place?
Never mind that I painted a huge reminder not to give in to the darkness. It took over again. Like a big fat cushion of foul air it surrounds and immobilizes me. I can't breath. My Sweetie B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00908781699436901684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2860420933444276009.post-3387554874360787342012-11-30T03:58:00.001-02:002012-11-30T09:10:37.410-02:00Insomniac maniajust figured out what I want to tattoo on my knuckles (did anyone ever doubt I wanted tattoed knuckles?).
Supa Diva (heart symbol)
that and tattooing the star fleet insignia on my chest. That would be awesome.Sweetie B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00908781699436901684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2860420933444276009.post-66681871295149271402012-11-26T11:44:00.003-02:002012-11-26T11:47:36.482-02:00SickI hate feeling sick. Specially when I know that is mostly due to anxiety. And maybe/probably/most likely PMS. Sick to the point I can't funcion normally. Sick to the point I'm bed ridden.
I can't afford to be sick.
I shouldn't be this anxious, but I am. Five days of migraine, and now the taquicardia and chest pain. Yeah, I'll have to make time to go to the doctor. But for now I'm trying to Sweetie B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00908781699436901684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2860420933444276009.post-87053798034549140392012-11-21T13:27:00.001-02:002012-11-21T13:27:49.130-02:00Wait, what?!Had an episode this past holiday (we had a holiday on Thursday and one yesterday, so it was a looooooong one) that I could just forget. And I probably will, and as I found it amusing I thought I'd leave it here for future lols.
So I'm perfectly fine with my young busy cute and adorable 오빠. We've been seeing less and less of each other but I've been busy with my burlesque group again, as well, Sweetie B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00908781699436901684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2860420933444276009.post-6200173454821723802012-11-12T18:16:00.001-02:002012-11-12T18:16:51.322-02:00Treating myself (nicely)After a relaxing weekend with Oppa actually sleeping over on Saturday and spending Sunday afternoon with me, junk food, beers and sex (and exploring new things as well) I had some errands to run today.
I've been styling my pink hair so it's even cuter. And today I went and bought more accesories. If there is something I can't live without that's hair bows.
Sunday morning I was going to get a Sweetie B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00908781699436901684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2860420933444276009.post-28769738842518768832012-11-11T08:36:00.004-02:002012-11-11T08:36:55.684-02:00Cabin fever, day 2
It's the second day I'm antsy with cabin fever. Go figure. Maybe it's that my college ordeal is almost over? I've kind of bit indulging well in food and drink, and thanks to my graduation project I don't really have the money, but who cares? A beer here and there, I can make do with the bills later.
Funny how this works. I was gonna post this, in portuguese (well, the essence), on facebook. ButSweetie B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00908781699436901684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2860420933444276009.post-75963894858882534372012-11-09T03:18:00.001-02:002012-11-09T03:18:07.014-02:00they broke the moldwow, that's a record. One week. And those are some pretty strong feelings. At least oppa was honest in that he is in a virtual relationship with someone else and doesn't want/can't have any stronger ties.
He's the kind of guy I really really really want to be friends with. So... I don't know what to do next. I guess the best thing would be nothing. Maybe I'd be better off friendzoning the world.Sweetie B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00908781699436901684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2860420933444276009.post-58204536237825228542012-11-04T19:54:00.003-02:002012-11-04T21:51:01.398-02:00that nagging little voice in the back of my head...me and my frigging trust issues. I never know when to believe the little voice in the back of my head. Which right now is saying that yes, I will get hurt and yes, it will be fun.
Just because at the same time Oppa is super sweet and fun, he also has a million things going on. I respect that. And he's young, Which is great, he works very hard and still has a lot of energy. But the damn cell Sweetie B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00908781699436901684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2860420933444276009.post-72264286091346469042012-11-03T00:20:00.003-02:002012-11-03T00:34:06.508-02:00cute overdose... and a much needed rest
Yes, you can overdose on cute. OMG, I had a cute cute sweet day, and it was almost perfect. It just wasn't perfect because Young Lae 오빠 had to leave. I'd say it should feel ridiculously strange to call someone 10 years younger than me 오빠. But it doesn't. Not now.
I'm gonna try to keep my head on and consider this having a very good friend with lots of benefits Yeah, that kind of Sweetie B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00908781699436901684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2860420933444276009.post-19785319537972628172012-10-31T00:44:00.002-02:002012-10-31T10:16:47.894-02:00Keeping my hopes up/downWell, I met my deadline for my college assignment, but as I finished it at 6 am, showered and came to college, I'm not so sure about how many corrections I'm gonna have to make next week when I get it back.
It's hard to focus for a long time. Dieting is hard. Looking in the mirror and seeing a Robert Crumb amazon is harder. Not sleeping and writing all night has me famished... I must keep to Sweetie B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00908781699436901684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2860420933444276009.post-2215230936698840962012-10-29T10:28:00.000-02:002012-10-29T10:45:03.662-02:00That empty space...It would seem like I'm just addicted to being in love. Because now that I'm over and mostly recovered from that pair of eyes... all there is is an empty space.
And what do I do with that space? That energy? Sure, I'm back to loving my little pink friend, but it's not the same. And if I thought I would apply that energy to getting my college work done, well, tough luck honey.
The wishing is Sweetie B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00908781699436901684noreply@blogger.com0