Monday, January 28, 2013

Biting my teeth so I don't scream.

Maybe it's my upcoming birthday.
Maybe it's the fact I have less than 10 bucks in my wallet for the week. (Not counting the money I put aside for the kpop show in the end of February - my only birthday gift to myself).
Maybe that I haven't been making much money at all. Even if I am working on things I love.
Maybe it's the fact I'm drowning in debt right now.

I'm pushing down the need to scream and cry. I don't have the time for that. I can't afford the luxury of being depressed. Literally.

I'll be ok. It always turns out ok.
Once again, I'll be the one making/buying my own cake for my birthday.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013


when you meet a new old pair of eyes that makes you want to wear a collar again. Even if he really isn't into bdsm.

I may just learn Japanese now and run away to Japan. How does that sound?

It was a weekend full of work and a Monday and Tuesday off with lots of cuddling. It had been a while since I had allowed myself the chance to go on a real date, with coffee, a movie and dinner. And it was nice to know that this pair of eyes has been interested in me for the past 4 years, ever since we first met (and we hardly spoke since).

I'll sit back, wait and see. I'm curious about this one.

Oh, and the sex was good. Not great, but good. His kiss is mindblowing. That makes it all even.


And it's only Thursday but he's already ignoring me. That was quick. I say one thing that upsets him and he stops returning my inbox and text messages. I thought that someone who waited 4 years for a chance to go on a date with me would hold on a little tighter.



He just needed time to digest what I said. He want's to take things slow. The risk? If you're slow around me, I'll end up far far away. Awell.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

guess who's back, back again...

Good morning my old friend Libido. Long time, no see.

Now tell me, just what do I do with you?

I had the weirdest sexy dreams... well, considering I haven't felt much below the belt for the past couple months, that should be ok.

Let's use that on stage, shall we?