Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Not today, Satan.

Whoever is sending me bad vibes, well... it worked. Looks like I have a really nasty cold sore, which would explain the three day high fever and all.

Taking the proper medication, my Chinese teas and working from my desk (which counts as rest in my world). And I'm getting more than enough sleep.

I'll be fine by tomorrow. I have to be.


Monday, September 7, 2015


It's too calm. Things are too easy. Life is good to me and I have more than enough. It's terrifying.

I should be asleep but I'm not even sleepy. Just disturbed. And lonely. I've been feeling terribly lonely these days.

3 weeks to go. 22 days. More coffee. More tea. More sticking to my to-do lists and getting things done instead of succumbing to this dreary insecurity.

Go to bed already.

Saturday, September 5, 2015


Woke up too early today, did my makeup, went to a casting call for Beauty Fair. A casting call. What bummed me (although I was deep down hoping to have the weekend to myself to clean and sew) was not not being picked, I respect the stylists needs for tall and thin 15 year old models, or the 5 hour wait till I was told I could go home, but the fact I could be with my Bear this weekend being loved and pampered instead of feeling lonely and bored on my #restday.

Took me a lot of thinking to reach that conclusion but it's about right. I organized my calendar so that I would be here for this event because my regular stylist asked me to. That made it tight around the Jewish holidays to travel so I have almost 4 weeks of waiting till I can hold my Bear.

It's not about the money. It's about the fact my hair looks stupid because I was growing out my undercut for this and my roots are huge and I got a rough deal.

Oh well, lesson learned. Also, I must wash my hair tomorrow. It looks great, feels gross.
This is about #lifegoals:

#hairgoals: refresh my undercut, do my roots, add some rainbow into the white.
#buttgoals: take the 30 day squat challenge. Keep track of my gains.
#fitnessgoals: improve the time it takes to do my workout. Get down to 45 minutes or less.
#bodygoals: look better naked than I look wearing clothes
#burlesquegoals: study, study, study
#shoppinggoals: reward myself with clothes and shoes, not food