*

ho hum...

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its the last few days of my vacation... ya'll don't really expect me to hang around online, do ya?

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so obviously, just a quick update.

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there has been some good sex (though it could be a bit rougher), cuddling, the dark knight, walking around, getting things sorted out for the second semestre, finding out the reason i didn't get into college after all was because there were no vacancies for transfers, eating lots, breakfast in bed and plenty of swing. God, i love teh swing.

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now i'm trying to sketch something for my first canvas.... why so difficult?

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Sweet?

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chaos is fun.

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btw, if anyone finds/has some good material on dance related lesions and physiotherapy, please email it to sweetiebirdrml@gmail.com . kthksbye.

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now playing: dem brooklyn bums big band - slap ya' round

(Don't know them? Too bad, they're damn good)

*

*not everything is lost*

*
the party is over. People move away. A few stay behind.
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morning starts tinting the sky of pink and oranges. Some stroll down, we move up the hill.
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What a better way to start the day than with "Good Morning"?

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This morning, the world was a MGM musical.
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And now, for something completely similar: i pack a bag full of local goodies, and go home to my Man.
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Have you ever broken out in song and dance? Would you like to give it a try?
*

*on the sunny side of the street - yes, its an image-heavy rant!*

*

"Grab your coat and snatch your hat,
leave your worries on the doorstep.
Just direct your feet to the sunny side of the street.
Can't you hear that pitter pat and that happy tune in your step.
Life can be so sweet on the sunny side of the street."
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You know, if only the weather did not reflect my "high" spirits.
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Yes, beware, its PMS time, and i'm bitchin'.
*

*
Funny how the world works. Yesterday i came home early to mope alone because i just wasn't in the mood for playing freak show.
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This morning i run into the photos from my prom... 8 years ago. If only i knew then the things i know now...



i was a dreamer. Ok, i still am. But i also was a total stoner. And a wannabe everything. That bowl cut was shaved under. My friends were skateboarders who hanged out at the cemetery. My pants were baggy but i liked to wear polo shirts. And i fancied myself a clubber. Yes, a genuine 100% pure tomboy. Eyebrows undone and all. My prom was the first time i ever wore heels... You know, the kind that only rises in the back. No platforms. i still have that brocade skirt suit.
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And here am i, 8 years later, drooling over alternative tattooed pin-ups, the shoes i picked out to accompany me sitting by my side... All heels. But moping.
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(Funny, i think i look and feel younger now than at 18. Go figure).
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So if this is gonna be a rant, let's get on with it. i'm feeling fat. One week here, and one kg and a half more. i haven't exercised, except for the occasional walking around shopping. I did do some great shopping, and have nice conversations... But it takes feeling ok, at least, to be able to withstand the whispering and pointing and all that. And to think that this is when the city puts on its best behavior and Sunday clothes to receive dancers from all over the world...
*

*
So lets just talk about this week instead...
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Last Friday i wanted to go to this particular charity shop because they always have cool things there... But they were closed. So while walking around remembering with a new friend, i shot photos instead. Photos of the cemetery i used to go to as a teenager, of the ugliest city hall in the world, of buildings.


(I see things most people don't)

A really ugly city hall.






The cemetery!
Then i stopped and watched a few dance presentations.
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The people that work with my dad organized a happy hour. So i went to that too. And then to the coffee club that is held at the church they go to. Freaking bizarre, but they have a wicked brownie with icecream. i guess i can withstand all that jesus talk if there are brownies and iced coffee at the end.
Dad and Mom.
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Saturday. The Municipal Market, and typical food. And good music. Too bad my girl friend had to break up our lunch date, but i went alone, anyways. Hummm...
After sitting alone for a few hours, and a bottle of beer, one of water and a latte, some ladies invited me to their table. So creeps wouldn't bother me. Sweet ladies. Then my mom showed up for a little while, and walked me to the Dance fair.
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Where i watched a lecture with Steven Harper on the Future of Contemporary Tap Dance. Ok, that f***ing rocked.
After that i headed to the mall where my youngest brother was, and we had a real conversation for the first time. That was cool. It was cool going out with my brother. Well, not at first when we were hanging out with his friends, but after we went to the rock bar and met up some of my old friends, it rocked.
my youngest sibling
old time friends
he rocks too!
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i mean, i had a hell lot to drink, but maybe because my bro got trashed so quickly (srsly, i had to rescue him from the ladies room where he was vomiting) i didn't get trashed after all. i just danced, sang and had a hell lot of fun. We ended the night with some monster sandwiches and took a cab home around 5 am.
Oishi! (mine was the BIG one)
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i spent Sunday at home. Just to remember what that was like, spending a slightly hungover (domestic gin is foul the morning after) Sunday with my parents, eating greasy food and watching a DVD.
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Monday was good as well.
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i feel like a terrible person for feeling lousy after spending so many great days in a row without a care in the world. Am i? Maybe its just the awful vibe this town gives off. It gets tiring to hear the laughing behind my back, the pointing fingers, the whispering, the insults plainly yelled at my face, and even the guy who turned his girlfriend around, abruptly, so she wouldn't miss me going by. Thank god for earphones. Sure, lots of people compliment my style, ask about how i dye my hair and such. But mostly, its negative. Specially here. This neighborhood. This street. i love my parents, but i hate this place.
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i digress. Monday we went treasure hunting in all the second hand and charity shops we could find, my mod friend and i. And some treasures did we find... At least i did! Two lovely purses, a cute camisole, a woolen mod dress with belt and an incredible pair of shoes. The shoes cost me R$1, and they look like something from the WWII. Sure, it cost 20x that to get them wearable, but totally worth it. Sugoi!
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Did i mention it was my fathers birthday too? I guess i didn't. Well, first, there was the ballet and jazz spectacle. The ballet is lovely, always is. Repertoire. But the jazz... so good to be reminded of why its so incredible... all the performances! Some payed a homage to Fosse, some used an intense visual language such as lights and shadows, but all were amazing. After feasting my mind, i feasted my mouth with some awesome pizza as we celebrated his 57th.
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And then yesterday... Tuesday. The weather started turning gray, back into the typical weather in here. The humidity is so high one can see it in the air, the mosquitoes are omnipresent (and its winter!) and i miss the Mister like crazy. It would be just perfection if He were here, but He isn't.
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Also, as much as i love my parents, my mother never stops nagging, and my father is a gossiper, and they both judge people way too fast. They are very petty about lots of things, which i think comes as a result of living here for so long. And my dad makes noise when he eats. i'm not nice, being annoyed by such small things, but its these things that drive us away from family, aren't they. The small things, that eventually become unbearable, the quirks that while they don't stop us from loving our family, stop us from spending a lot more time with them. Sorry if i am excedingly honest, but i had to vent. i am NOT the 24/7 sweetheart some people fancy me to be.
.
But they are both awesome people who i love very much, and even if i know more words in English than my dad now (who happens to be from New Jersey, kthxs), they are still my heroes. Imperfect and all. It takes spunk to raise 4 kids, and put them all through private schools.
.
i wish i had found a nice gift for my dad, Inspector Gadget. He just has so many electronic toys i don't know what to get him anymore. At mostly, thats all he cares for. Maybe i could get him a nice edition of Dom Quixote... that's him after all. Honestly, i'm clueless..
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Anyways, yesterday was spent alone, and shopping. i finally got a pannier! Yay, and at the most improbable place too, a store that specializes in "Gaucho" clothes. What i did was buy a child's size because typically the ladies wear these long gowns. And it was quite affordable too. i also found some nice pants and thrift stuff, and bought a Cuca...
i hadn't eaten that in years. So good... i'll write about it soon enough in the other blog. Oh yeah, the bizarre note for the day was this freak head banger with a camera who decided to stalk me after i left the bank. He didn't even make an effort to not be seen. Damn it, Janet.
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More loot:
boyish warm pants, some basic shirts, a reusable shopping bag and organic peanut butter.
one of the purses, a chiffon camisole and a pretty cincher.
vintage woolen dress and purse
the pannier
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i was going to go to the cinema too, but got tired of being stared at and called it a day. Maybe i will go today. There isn't much left to do, anyways... there is the tap spectacle tomorrow night, and talk on Friday on "Lesion prevention in Dancing", and a couple books i covet, but thats mostly it. And the goodies i promised to bring home to Him.
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Miss Him.
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So there i go... bored, bloated and bummed. Ha! What should i listen to now?
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Well, better go tend to lunch, after all today my mom is not here to take care of that. And then, we'll see.
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i can't wait to start dancing again. Too bad i didn't hear about the dance seminars and workshops before... maybe next year.
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And i MUST work on what makes me unhappy with my figure. Its no ones fault but mine! Plus, soon i will be getting my burlesque on again, so i need to get my glam on.
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And now, over and out!
*

*
Mood: PMS'ing.
Now playing: SOD. Don't know what else to listen to next.
*

*
P.s. 1: Happy Birthday Dulce. You're a sweet!
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P.s. 2: i'm in love with a little fellow... The cutest schnauzer ever. i've been going by to see him every other day. i wish i could bring him home with me.
*

*Give me something cheap and cheerful*

*
So, where do i start? Here am i, trying to think straight, blog and organize my day, all at once.
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The day is dawning. Apparently, at my parents place, i recover my ninja power of becoming fully awake one minute before the alarm goes off.
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i really, really want to go outside (despite the insane fog and the humid cold) and walk for an hour or two. Walk. My tattoo is still quite painfully crusty, so i don't even know if it is recommendable. It is recovering at a faster rate than i expected... maybe by tomorrow it will be fine. Hopefully.
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Meanwhile, people awaken in the household. My younger brother is in the shower, and offered to make me coffee. Must suck to lose his bedroom (and computer) to me, every time i show up. Well, this was my bedroom growing up, so be it. He's a cool guy... he just makes a lot of bad choices, thats all. Sometimes i feel like the prodig
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And yay, i have photoshop! What, you think i was gonna let you see any photos without editing?
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Apparently, music runs in our blood. Have never seen such a family to be ALWAYS listening to something, even if each and every one of us has a different taste. Explains a lot.
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Now back to something cheap and cheerful.
*

*
So much catching up on sleep for my first week of vacation. i must have arrived here around 6 am yesterday. Ask me if i slept. No, i didn't.
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Luckily, the weather is dry opposed to the usual horrid winter humidity. Aside the mist, obviously. And because there is no altitude here (near the coast), its warmer. i'm having a pleasant time, so far.
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So, after a proper breakfast, i just unpacked and hanged out after what was probably one of the most uncomfortable bus rides in my life. Sucks not to be able to sit on my legs. Whatever, it's totally worth it.
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Then lunch. Mom made a quick, simple meal: stew. But so good. i really need to exercise. i'm gonna get fat with all the yummy goodies around here. If there is one thing they are good at in the south of Brazil, that thing is food. Specially sweets. Oh, the torture.
Moms lunch
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"I can resist everything except temptation." (Oscar Wilde)
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This home has a strange schedule of its own. People here tend to sleep as much as possible (when possible), and to sleep as late as they can. My parents arrive late. My mother usually leaves home really late. As usual, i watch and adjust. i guess i'm good at that. Adjusting.
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Oh yeah, vacation. i even sketched. Guess thats what happens when one has to keep off SuicideGirls for modesty's sake. Um hum, right.
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By the time i finally dolled up (can hardly believe i wore, at last, the skirt i have been thinking of for a good while now - and made on Wednesday) and left the house, it was 5 pm. No big deal... i only had one place to go, and this is a small town.
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Usually takes me a couple days to adjust to the fact its OK to walk alone at 9 pm and no big deal to ride a car with the windows down. Big town paranoia, much?
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Well, i made it to my objective: THE DANCE FESTIVAL. According to the Guinness Book, the biggest in the whole world. Yay! And even though i was afraid there weren't gonna be anymore tickets, i scored 2 out of 3. Pity about the Dom Quixote ballet though. Really wanted to see the Dom Quixote Suites, performed by the Russian Bolshoi Ballet Solo Dancers. By the way, the only other Bolshoi school in the world is right here, in Joinville. So i get to watch:

The competitive jazz and ballet night (and i scored the last seat in the house, how lucky!)

The competitive tap and ballet night
Plus i also enrolled in two free workshops. One is this Saturday afternoon, on Tap Dance, and the other is next Friday, about lesions in dancing and how to avoid them. How appropriate.
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Oh yeah, lets not forget the shopping:


Sure, i spent almost R$400 in dance gear, but it was totally worth it. i would probably spend 75% more if i had bought everything outside of the Feira da Sapatilha. Yay for plenty of dance shoes! Lets call it an investment. Hmmm, maybe i should get some more suplex stockings.
*

*
Pauses for another cup of coffee and a bowl of fruit with orange flower honey.
*

*
Basically, that was it. i got home, took photos and ate. I was in bed before midnight.
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And now... ego shots!

i made this.
this hurt


*

*
i'll take photos of the city while i am around later. But don't be fooled by its lovely looks. This is the quintessential wicked little town.
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i mean, try growing up here!
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My mom is up. Time to rock it! Have a great weekend.
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Over and out. Its a beautiful day outside.
*

*
Mood: hyper. Too much coffee, too early?
Now playing: Cheap and Cheerful - The Kills

"Cause love is just a dialogue
You can't survive on ice-cream
You got to see me dancing dog

It's alright (it's alright)
To be mean (to be mean)
It's alright (it's alright) To be mean (to be mean)

I want you to be crazy
'Cause you're boring baby when you're straight
I want you to be crazy
'Cause you're stupid baby when you're sane"

Current time: 10 am.
*

*
P.s.: i miss You. The only thing short of perfect is that You're not here. (L)
*

*Life. You know, all the random stuff it's made of.*

*
We went to the Tanabata Matsuri on Sunday. i had gioza. Yummy.
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He makes me cry every now and then. He is one of those people who don't pay attention to the intonation they use when criticizing. i am one of those people who are too sensible to intonations.
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Monday morning sex beats Sunday morning sex. Definitely.
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my sylph is almost done. One more session to retouch the white, and voila. White is a pain to tattoo.
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3 new scarves for my collection.
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and i finally had that coffee shake on Monday night. And it was as good as i imagined.
*

*

Two working days into my vacation and i've already managed to screw my sleeping schedule beautifully.

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Mind you thats only because i am getting ready to travel tomorrow night.

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i have an errand to run tomorrow which is time consuming and annoying. But its for my parents, so whatever. i get to ride the train for a looooooooong time without being able to sit properly.

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What? Yeah, i got my seam tattoo this morning. No, i haven't photographed it. Yeah, i hadn't slept or eaten since the previous night (cleaning up) so it was quite interesting. And hell, it hurt like a bitch. But 2,5 hrs of work got me one a super awesome ink job. Woo hoo.

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And then i went to the beauty parlor. To get primped up. So i have decent looking eyebrows again, and nails.

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Obviously, i slept when i got home.

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No, no, it isn't over yet. Then i got up after a few hours, washed way too many dishes while dying my hair and doing laundry. Just because i can. A bit after midnight and cauterizing my poor hair, i achieved once again a very interesting colour. No, i'm not telling. I'll post photos soon enough.
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i'd better hit the sack. Seam tattoos are teh shit for walking, sitting and sleeping. Whatever, its a small price to pay for something that will last for all my life.

*

*
i'll be in Joinville on Thursday morning. i haven't packed.
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let's see how that goes.
*

*

mood: hyper. After all, i'm on vacation! :D

now playing: i my me mine - polysics

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hmmm... tofu and shitake omelet. Maybe tomorrow.

*

*sunday morning*

*
- i woke up alone.
- i promised myself i would go walk at the park. But its almost midday and i haven't gotten out of bed.
- i slept with my jeans on. Hate it.
- my hair needs washing. And more dye.
- i haven't plucked my eyebrows in over a week because i'm growing them out for a re-design. i can't even look at a mirror anymore, i feel fugly.
- i was drooling over the schedule of THE DANCE FESTIVAL. Maybe i will get poorer but i wanna see at least the Dom Quixote Ballet, the ballet final night and the tap dance night. Honestly, that festival is the only nice thing from the godforsaken town my parents live in. Well, that and a few of my teen years friends. Ok, and my mothers food and my father's odd sense of humor.
- i want a coffee shake so bad i could cry.
- being a lazy person sucks.
*

*fuck, yeah!*

*

What?

i'm on vacation now!

.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

*

*

mood: happy

now playing: lulluby - the cure

*

*6 things:*

*

6. i had an awful, hurtful dream. i dream't i had been not only removed from SG without any explanation, all records of my online existance had been erased as well. How does one become persona non grata on the intarwebz? i woke up in tears. And ran up to check if i still existed, virtually. It took me a hell lot of work to get my ass on that site, and it would hurt terribly to just be kicked out. :(

5. yesterday was a holiday in Sao Paulo. So i achieved a new level in dozing off... like, 14 hours. While i am still far from beating my own record (22 hrs), one must admit its somewhat an achievement. Specially when one wakes up horny and makes a point of attacking her Better Half. Spell perfect day with me: lots of sleep + morning sex + pastel at the farmers market + driving for a couple hours in His company + oozing at food porn + being a smarty pants and making lots of funny remarks + baked potato with lots of cheese + a large milkshake + almost achieving to set up my overlock (finally!) + cuddling all night. Perfect, except for the fact im fairly milk protein intolerant. A small price to pay. :P

4. i re-pierced my lip on Monday night. i really missed having my snakebite and i'm happy its back. Still on the body-mod topic, i should finish my shoulder tat next Monday, and i have another tattoo appointment on Tuesday. Go me! Now only to convince the Man to let me schedule the Christina, my life would be complete. That and a pair of roller blades.

3. Vacation... can you smell it? i can. I mean, if all works out, as of Monday i get three weeks off. i'm planning on paying a visit to one of the lovely ladies of this site, and obviously, taking a ridiculously long bus ride just to eat my mothers polenta and homemade bread.

yes, its a random photo!

2. Remember the 100 days countdown? Well, today is day 100. Shall we dance?

1. i really really want to shoot a multi. And i will not lie about my not very noble intentions: i'm just dying to touch the soft skin of another female again, to feel a ladies lips... If that lady just happens to be tattoed and pierced, and if there just happens to be a camera around to register the moment, well, jackpot. :D


...



hmmm... tonkatsu ramen.

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meh. Ok, enough procrastinating. Now i hit the gym. And then... stuff!

.

oh God, am i eloquent today or what?


*





"I see you're a man with ideals. I better be going while you've still got them."

Mae West

*

mood: annoyed

now playing: that's not my name - the ting tings

*

*i'm gonna fuck my way back into His heart.*


(photo by Flambart)
*

*sweetie's believe it or not*

*

Believe it or not, i AM verbally impaired. Orally, that is.

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i am constantly screaming inside of my head. But i was taught to only mouth things if they were positive and nice.

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So my fingers are a lot more eloquent than my lips. But my hips don't lie.

*

*

Enter the confessionary. i hold awful, terrible grudges.

.

My fantasy. Everything would be perfect again, if He just said that He was wrong, those two times...

.

He ripped our contract and said horrible things to me. He threw my pearl collar away, the one i was most proud of having made, and hurt me even more the next day. i wouldn't have minded the flogging. But He threw away something beautiful, something i made with my own hands, as if the things i made/make/create were all worthless. As if i were worthless.

.

Grudges are evil. They feed off our souls.

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All i do these days is dream... Yesterday, in the morning, i dreamt of my disturbing world, once more. Its dark, and dirty and ugly. People are mean. I witnessed a son pay to have his mother kidnapped and rape her. Histerically. Dreamland is not very pleasant these days.

*

*

Will my heart ever be contented?

.

Apparently, i am broken.

See, i am leaking through my eyes.

*

xoxo

Grizabella

*

P.s.: Guess i'll get over it. Somehow, someday. All that matters is how much i love Him.´

(corny)

*

*a mini rant*

*

After the a hectic month in June, my bad eating habits plus the little sleep and all the anxiety caught up with me. Maybe.
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Thing is i miss my happy chirpy energetic self.
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Plus i've been having my period for 12 days now. i still have cramps, and my hormones have gone berserk on me. All i can think of is the awesomeness of the past weekend. And feel anxious about my newly shot set. Can't wait to see it.
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We're already starting to plan the next SG Party. Its gonna be big!
.
i go on vacation on the 14th. Besides finishing the latest one, i want to start on a big tattoo project this month.
.
Hum... only a few more weeks until i can have my mother's food. Yum! i could really use a plate of her polenta with chicken in tomato sauce right now. There is also the Dance Festival to attend in Joinville, and lots of dance gear to be bought. i'll be back to the dance school by August!
.
Guess that's it. I've been dragging myself throughout the week this far, mostly in bed, with the laptop on my lap. Everything around me is filthy and a mess... But i just can't move. So the only thing i have to show for the past days are a shitload of videos. Enjoy!

SG Party


The DJ


Our girls know how to party!


Naty knows her samba!


Now meet all the lovely ladies:


I posted some videos from Casarao Brasil in my video section on SG, but i'll save those for later.
.
And a "few" photos:

Oi Passarela
My hair. A bit bored of the color already, but i have to give it a break.
Post Casarao Brasil. Tired.
A never-ending obsession.

This photo...For some reason i really like this one too.
The terrible two.
Post shoot. Only to play around a bit. That collar is the last thing i actually made. And the bracelet.
Yes?
Oh, my stocking is rolling. (that is the awesome skirt i wrote about previously.)

*

*
Mood: sore and uninspired
Now playing: Put on your Sunday clothes - Micheal Crawford and Company (Yeah, we watched Wall.E on Sunday, and although there are a couple things that happened too easily- just because its a kid movie , i really liked it. Specially this song.)

"Dressed like a dream your spirits seem to turn about
That Sunday shine is a certain sign
That you feel as fine as you look!"
*