Wednesday, April 25, 2007

*guess this must be the place (and even more photos)*

my head hurts and i feel lousy. Yesterday i couldn't sleep. i finally fell asleep at 4 am. The night before at 3 am. It's just too hot to sleep, it's uncomfortable. So i am tired and in a bad mood. Last week i rested. This week, despite me being supposed to rest, i hardly did so. Or so i feel.
And that screws up my schedule... i mean, do you have a personal schedule for doing certain things? Creative work in the evening, i.e. , labor work and chores in the morning... i do. And i have a problem with the light. i cannot concentrate if there isn't enough light, so at night i find it hard to do crafts in general.
So... i couldn't sleep. i tried watching a film, "So i married an axe murderer". Nice, but it didn't help. Then i think, "maybe i should start customizing the things for my number, and make the accessories." The only thing i couldn't get right last night were the pasties. i made two sets this morning... And last night i made these...
crafty material
i just added ribbons to these shoes, so that i can tie it into a bow. Kawaii, ne?
and i added lace to this already lacy teddy. It's my "outfit" for the performance friday. Well, at least part of it.
... a lacy choker...
... and a tea set...
a pepper anklet
satin and lace pasties with tassles. These were a bit troublesome. i also made a satin pair for a friend.
And i woke up at 7:40 again. i made the pasties. i went to the street market (i know, i shouldn't even be walking around) to buy fresh fruit. i edited the soundtrack for my number, and now i only need one voice sample to finish.

i must think of the choreography carefully. i tried some dancing, and it hurt.

and in the afternoon i dressed up...

...and went to the doctor.
Doctors orders:

- rest
- no walking around
- no dancing till next week
- massage and ointment 4x a day on both legs
- i can only go back to working out and dancing 3 weeks from now.
damn! *
Well, i go back to work on wednesday. And i am glad i am off the antibiotics. One week of that and i got an infection. Sucks, i hate those meds.
Left the doctor, bought the ointment, ordered my nose drops, weighed myself. Came home. Wearing socks in this heat is awful... and i got welts from the opera lenght stockings on my thighs. Fat thighs... i am generally happy with my body.

Most of the time i really like my boobs. i like my eyes, my lips, even my nose. i love the arch of my back, and my ass when i get to work out. i like my fingers and the calfs of my legs. But i hate my thighs, i think they are fat and way too wide. i dislike my teeth and rarely smile in photos. My stomach... And i hate my ears... Actually i would like to get my ears modded to be like a vulcans. They are the right size... Plus, i am now 55,7 kg. When i arrived last year, in may i was 64 kg. Ok, i can see some differences, but i am still not happy with the very same things. Specially the thighs.
Edited photos. Read a bit. Ate. Messenger. Fixed something that didnt sound quite right in the soundtrack. Tried to work on the choreography, too tired today.
and tomorrow i may have to go out again, to pick up some meds. Bad.
So that was it. i hope to be able to sleep tonight. i am in a bad mood, and sore. Tomorrow will be better, i hope.

"I ’M nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there ’s a pair of us—don’t tell!
They ’d banish us, you know.

How dreary to be somebody!
How public, like a frog
To tell your name the livelong day
To an admiring bog!"
(Emily Dickinson)
Listening: Arcade Fire - This must be the place

"Love me till I'm dead
Eyes that light up, eyes look through you
Cover up the blank spots
Hit me in the head "
Wearing: my birthday suit
Eating/drinking: nothing, it's bed time.

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